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  #1  
Old April 26th, 2010, 11:04 AM
Maxine Galgachus Maxine Galgachus is offline
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Default am i wrong?

im assuming that this question can go under men's health. OK so heres the thing. my boyfriend proposed to me a month ago and i told him no i couldnt promise to marry him until he could provide a house for us to live in. i have talked to a few diffrent people some say that shouldnt have be a reason to say no and others say im totally right. i am torn because i feel im doing the right thing, can anyone agree with me that im making the right choice?
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Old April 26th, 2010, 04:17 PM
Millicent Gardiner Millicent Gardiner is offline
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first.. hows the relationship between you two now? any different .. maybe is he a little distant. well if so thats probably normal it takes alot for a guy to propose im sure its not easy soo yeah you probably hurt him..

and although i dont completely disgree with you becasue your right you need to be finacially stable with somene in order to start a sucessful life with them.. but if you love him and really want to be with him. then i think you should have said yes. and just stayed engaged until you guys were ready.
he might not ask again to be honest.
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Old April 26th, 2010, 05:30 PM
Miranda Ruthven Miranda Ruthven is offline
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your not wrong i mean your looking out for your futrue.. but then again i agree that it might have hurt him a little.. maybe he doesnt think hes good enough for you.. and who knows if he'll ask again!
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Old April 30th, 2010, 12:07 PM
Daisy Santos Daisy Santos is offline
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i think your compleatly right its not worth it to rush into something if your not sure that you can do it. i disagree with the others commenting on here that he might not propose again.. well if he doesnt then thats his problem and odds are that he didnt really want it. because if a guy really wants something then he will keep working at it until he gets it. good luck and stay strong.
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Old May 3rd, 2010, 12:21 PM
Charlotte Lam Charlotte Lam is offline
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i think that was a very brave thing for you to do, i think the key to a healthy relationship is not haveing to deal with all kinds of these finincial struggles. i think the it is important to be stable before you decide to tie the knot. i spoke about this alot during the dating phase in my relationship.. sure enough as soon as my now husband bought a house he proposed shortly after. it was very nice that we were able to have our own house and then get married.
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  #6  
Old May 7th, 2010, 01:03 PM
Donna Anderson Donna Anderson is offline
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its very important that you said how you feel. i dont think it would be a good idea for one to live with or marry someone that can not provide a house for them. i once refused marrage until the guy got a steady job and was able to help with the house payments.. because i was not going to be stuck working my ass off only to have him be lazy.
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  #7  
Old May 8th, 2010, 04:46 PM
Betty Davis Betty Davis is offline
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I definately agree that it was a good reason not to get married. A relationship is one thing, but a marriage is a total commitment to one another, and that takes a lot more focus and resources to put into it than a simple relationship. Usually, the best sign for marriage is when you're able to support one another and yourself in a relationship, both financially and mentally.

So I think you're right. At the very least, you didn't outright say No, you gave him a condition to fulfill.
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Old May 11th, 2010, 02:50 PM
Hannah Peters Hannah Peters is offline
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hey marriage is a big leap and i think you made the right decision. if you KNOW you are not ready then why get into a marriage that you don't even feel completely happy about? everyone have different intepretations when it comes to defining what marriage is and yours is having a house and a stable career even if you do love him. nothing wrong with that.
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Old June 5th, 2010, 12:44 PM
Evelinda Nicklaus Evelinda Nicklaus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Maxine Galgachus View Post
im assuming that this question can go under men's health. OK so heres the thing. my boyfriend proposed to me a month ago and i told him no i couldnt promise to marry him until he could provide a house for us to live in. i have talked to a few diffrent people some say that shouldnt have be a reason to say no and others say im totally right. i am torn because i feel im doing the right thing, can anyone agree with me that im making the right choice?

i would say that you made the right decision. however, i don't think the criteria was right. providing a house is one thing, being actually able to afford the house is another. i would say that if you're still intent on being with him, you should discuss these things before the proposal comes up again
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